Parental Rights in Italy: Affidamento, Custody and the Contact Schedule

Affidamento condiviso and affidamento esclusivo

When a couple with a child divorces or formally separates in Italy, the court does not "hand over" the child to one parent — it defines the regime for exercising parental responsibility. The default regime, and the one the law treats as the priority, is affidamento condiviso, shared custody: both parents keep the full scope of parental rights and duties, regardless of which household the child actually lives in. Italian law starts from the presumption that a child benefits from keeping an equal bond with both parents, and the court departs from that presumption only when there is evidence that shared custody would harm the child — for example, in cases of violence, serious psychological instability in one parent, or a pattern of disregarding the child's interests.

In such an exceptional case the court can order affidamento esclusivo — sole custody in favour of one parent. This does not mean the other parent is removed from the picture entirely: they generally keep the right to contact and to information about the child's health and education, unless the court has expressly restricted those rights too.

Separate from affidamento is the question of collocamento — where the child actually lives day to day. Even under shared custody, the court usually names one parent as the one with whom the child has their main residence (collocamento prevalente), and sets a visitation schedule for the other. These are two different questions, and confusing them is the most common reason parents misread their own court ruling: shared custody does not automatically mean the child alternates weeks between two homes, although the court can order that arrangement too if it genuinely fits the child's interests and the family's logistics.

Who decides: everyday matters and "major" decisions

Italian law distinguishes two levels of decisions about a child. Everyday matters — the daily routine, leisure activities, small practical choices — are decided by whichever parent has the child with them at that moment, on their own, without consulting the other.

The other category is decisioni di maggiore interesse, major decisions: choosing a school and an educational path, non-urgent medical treatment, changing the child's residence, issuing or renewing a passport, travel abroad. Under shared custody, both parents must make these together. If one refuses or cannot be reached, the other cannot simply sign the paperwork "for both" — either an agreement is needed, or an application to the court, which can replace the missing consent with its own authorisation.

This provision affects Ukrainian parents directly: the child's passport, an anagrafe certificate, documents for school enrolment or health insurance often require the signature or notarised consent of both parents, even when one of them is in Ukraine or in another country. The formalities around school are covered in more detail in a separate article on enrolling children in Italian school, which shows how much of the paperwork depends precisely on both parents' consent.

Piano genitoriale: contact schedule and holidays

A ruling on affidamento is almost always accompanied by a piano genitoriale — a parenting plan that sets out a regular schedule for the child to see the parent who is not the main carer: days of the week, times, how the handover happens, and how phone or video contact works between visits.

Holidays and school breaks are agreed separately: summer holidays are usually split into periods, while public and religious holidays rotate from year to year, so that neither parent is ever without a meaningful family occasion. When parents can agree on their own, the court will typically approve their agreement almost unchanged — that is faster and far less adversarial than having a judge set the schedule alone based on an expert's findings.

A piano genitoriale is not a formality to file and forget: breaching the agreed schedule, repeatedly being late to hand over the child, or refusing to keep contact on the set days can later be taken into account by the court, when custody terms are reviewed, as a sign of behaviour that runs against the child's interests.

Relocating the child and travel abroad

Changing the child's residence is a major decision, and under shared custody it requires the other parent's consent, whether the move happens within Italy or, even more so, involves returning to Ukraine or moving to another country. The same applies to extended trips: the other parent has the right to know where the child is being taken and for how long.

A parent who takes the child abroad without the other guardian's consent or without court authorisation risks more than a conflict — the court can treat that as obstruction of the other parent's rights, directly affecting later decisions on collocamento and affidamento. In cross-border cases, the Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction may also apply, under which the other state must help return the child to their habitual place of residence.

The reverse also holds: if the other parent systematically blocks contact, refuses without cause to hand over the child on schedule, or tries to alienate the child from the other parent psychologically, the court records that too as behaviour contrary to the child's interests, and it can justify reviewing the custody regime in favour of the parent whose rights were breached.

When parents cannot agree: court, services, expert assessment

If parents cannot agree on the custody regime, the schedule, or a specific decision about the child, the matter goes to court — depending on whether the couple was married, this happens within separation or divorce proceedings before the tribunale, while children born outside marriage follow a separate procedure. In the most serious cases, involving a genuine danger to the child, the Tribunale per i Minorenni can become involved.

Ongoing oversight of how a court ruling is carried out often falls to the giudice tutelare — a judge whose remit covers guardianship and custodial matters broadly, including granting authorisation in place of a parent's signature when that parent refuses or cannot be reached.

In contested cases the court regularly involves servizi sociali — social services, who report on each parent's living conditions and how the child feels in each household — and can also order a CTU, an independent psychological assessment of each parent's capacity to cooperate, the stability of their environment, and the child's attachment. Children old enough and mature enough are usually heard directly by the court, a procedure known as ascolto del minore; the child's view is weighed alongside other evidence, though it is not decisive on its own.

The court weighs the whole picture: each parent's ability to provide stability, willingness to cooperate for the child's sake, track record of involvement in the child's life before the separation, and any documented violence or neglect. Rulings are always reasoned and framed around the child's best interests, not around punishing either spouse.

Changing custody arrangements over time

A ruling on affidamento is not set in stone. If circumstances have genuinely changed — a parent relocating, a changed work schedule, a deteriorating relationship with the child, new circumstances affecting the child's safety or development — either party can apply to the court to review the custody regime, the collocamento, or the contact schedule.

To obtain a review, wanting a change is not enough: you must show a real change of circumstances compared with those the previous ruling was based on. The court can confirm the current regime, adjust the schedule, change the child's main residence, or, in extreme cases, move from affidamento condiviso to affidamento esclusivo if a parent's conduct has come to threaten the child's interests.

In practice, reviewing custody terms often runs alongside other family matters — maintenance, division of assets, or a parent's remarriage. Asset division after separation is covered in a separate piece on divorcing without travelling to Ukraine, which also shows how Ukrainian couples run parallel proceedings in two countries.

What makes these cases harder for Ukrainian parents — and how we help

Ukrainian families in affidamento cases regularly run into circumstances that Italian law does not automatically resolve on its own. The most common situation: the other parent has remained in Ukraine, is temporarily in another EU country, or has lost contact with the family since the start of the full-scale war. Formally, their consent to a major decision is still required, yet reaching an agreement, or even just reaching them, can be impossible. In such cases the court can appoint a guardian ad litem for the child or allow a decision without the absent parent's consent — but that requires documented proof communication is genuinely impossible, not just a claim that it is.

The second recurring problem is documents. A child's birth certificate, a family status certificate, or proof of custody issued in Ukraine must be translated by a sworn translator and legalised with an apostille before an Italian court or comune accepts them; a mistranslated name or an incomplete set of documents can delay a case by months. We cover this in a separate article on apostilles and sworn translation of documents.

The third is the passport and the child travelling. Issuing or renewing a child's passport, like any trip abroad, usually requires the written consent of both parents. When the other parent will not sign — unwillingness, principle, or simply an unknown whereabouts — the way through is not pressure or unilateral action, but an application to the giudice tutelare for authorisation that replaces the missing consent. A ready-made template and checklist for the standard travel-consent situation is in our consent for a child to travel abroad checklist — a useful starting point, but in contentious cases a court ruling is needed, not just a correctly filled-in form.

Affidamento cases are court proceedings, and that is exactly where the difference shows between going through the process alone and having a team carry the case from start to finish. In litigation, we work as a lawyer-plus-advocate pair: the client talks to the lawyer in plain language, without legal phrasing, and the lawyer translates that into legal terms for the advocate — building the position, identifying which evidence is needed, tracking the case through court, and making sure the advocate acts in the direction the client actually needs, not by template. This matters even more when a case has an international element, requiring the Italian process and the Ukrainian paperwork to be handled together.

In concrete terms, we check the document set before filing so the court does not send the case back over a formal error; certify translations of Ukrainian birth, marriage or custody documents; help draft a piano genitoriale that genuinely matches the child's school and work schedule, not one copied from another case; represent the client at hearings and with servizi sociali; prepare applications to the giudice tutelare when authorisation is needed in place of an absent parent's signature; and support a review of custody terms when the family's circumstances have changed. If your case involves a custody dispute and you want to understand where to start in your own situation, leave a request through the consultation form — we will look at your actual documents and suggest a real plan of action, not a generic instruction.

Questions we hear most often

Does affidamento condiviso mean the child lives with both parents in equal turns?

No. Shared custody is about both parents keeping their parental rights; where the child actually lives day to day is decided separately, as collocamento. Alternating residence is possible, but it is a separate court decision, not an automatic consequence of affidamento condiviso.

The other parent lives abroad and will not sign consent for the child's passport. What can we do?

You need to apply to the giudice tutelare for authorisation that replaces the missing consent. The court examines the reasons for the refusal or unavailability of the other parent, and if they are not linked to a genuine concern for the child's interests, it can allow the document to be issued without that signature.

Can the contact schedule be changed if a former partner keeps breaching it?

Yes, a systematic failure to follow the piano genitoriale is grounds to apply to the court for a review of the terms. It matters to document the breaches — dates, messages, witness accounts — so the court sees a consistent pattern, not a single conflict.

Do we need an advocate if we and our former partner have reached an amicable agreement?

Even an amicable agreement still needs the court's approval, and it is better drafted by a lawyer, so the piano genitoriale is specific and enforceable rather than general phrases that both sides later interpret differently.

What does the court weigh when ordering affidamento esclusivo instead of shared custody?

The court assesses whether each parent can provide a stable, safe environment, whether there are documented cases of violence or neglect, the parent's track record of involvement in the child's life, and their ability to cooperate. Affidamento esclusivo is an exception the court must justify separately, not a typical outcome of a divorce.

Custody questions after a divorce or separation in Italy rarely come down to a single signed document: it is an ongoing process in which the weekly schedule, school paperwork, the passport, and future changes are all connected. Understanding the difference between affidamento and collocamento, agreeing major decisions clearly, and turning to the court in good time when agreement is not possible keep a stable bond between the child and both parents, even when the family lives across different countries.

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